2.2, 14th overall: Steve Slaton - If you are participating in a real PPR draft someone will probably snatch up Slaton before this spot.  I’m high on his duel threat ability, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see his work load decrease this season as Kubiak tries to get Chris Brown more involved.  That said, I’m not going to let him fall past the early second round.  Team Locker Room UnderPants Gnomes other picks: Larry Fitzgerald

2.3, 15th overall: Brandon Jacobs - PPR hurts Jacobs value, but TDs are what really matter in any league. Jacobs should get about 1 TD for every game he’s healthy enough to play and easily break 1000 yards. Don’t undervalue him in PPR. I like coupling him with a wildcard like DeAngelo - these guys could easily combine for 35 TDs again, but even in DeAngelo falters a solid Brandon Jacobs will keep your team in good shape. Team Kyle Orton’s Neck Beard other picks: DeAngelo Williams

2.4, 16th overall: Calvin Johnson - Megatron proved last season he can produce in all settings. He is the last of my Tier 1 WRs, meaning I value him pretty similarly to the other guys I’ve already selected. He can easily lead the league in yardage if his QB play is just decent. Team Romosexual Tendencies other picks: Chris Johnson

2.5, 17th overall: Pierre Thomas - I’m not playing around with Pierre Thomas this season. I want him on every team and I’m not afraid to reach for him ahead of any other savvy owners in the same mindset as me. He’s the best value in fantasy football this season and should produce as a top 10 RB in PPR and non PPR leagues. His ADP has him going in the early third, and if you get him there that’s great, but I’m reaching earlier. 15 TDs should be a brees (lulz) for the PT Cruiser in this offense. Team Mike Vick Rapes and Murders Animals other picks: Frank Gore

2.6, 18th overall: Marion Barber - Barber is a tough one to figure out this season. He’s consistently falling into the second round and could be a great value here. One thing I’m sure of - as long as he doesn’t get injured he will make owners happy at this point in the draft. He will rack up receptions and TDs as the 3rd down back and closer in this offense, making him a PPR owner’s dream. I expect him to still get the lion’s share of the carries, too. Team Yellow Polka Dot Mangini other picks: Brian Westbrook

2.7, 19th overall: Reggie Bush - For PPR leagues, I would take one more RB before getting into my second tier WRs. A healthy Bush will catch 70-80 balls, carry over 100 times, and add a couple of return TDs. He was one of the top backs in PPR leagues last year before his injury and can easily return to that status. For non-PPR leagues be much more wary.  Team Feely My Breaston’s other picks: LaDainian Tomlinson

2.8, 20th overall: Clinton Portis - It’s hard to believe that this man is only 27 years old. In his seven year career he’s rushed over 2000 times for over 9000 yards. Wear and tear is a bit of a concern, but not enough to keep him out of my second tier of RBs. After Portis I see a substantial drop off in RB quality. If he becomes a bigger factor in the passing game, like he was in 07, this will be a great value pick.  Team Travis Henry is My Dad other picks: Steven Jackson

2.9, 21st overall: Drew Brees - A good nickname for Drew Brees would be Fixodent - put him in and forget it. He’s going to get you 15-25 points a week, every week. Expect Brees to sniff the yardage record again as the Saints remain the most lopsided passing offense in the league. Team 2 Inches Flacco, 4 Inches Huard other picks: Matt Forte

2.10, 22nd overall: Steve Smith - I believe a run on WRs should start right around this area. Elite RBs are off the board but there are plenty of quality WRs left. Steve Smith sits at the top of my WR Tier 2. Jake Delhomme’s abilities may be fading, but his tunnel vision for Steve Smith is eternal. With a full slate of 16 games Smith can return to top 5 WR status.  Team I Just Witten My Pants other picks: Michael Turner

2.11, 23rd overall: Anquan Boldin - Larry Fitzgerald’s stats last year: 16 games, 96 receptions, 1436 yards, 12 TDs. Anquan Boldin’s stats last year: 12 games, 89 receptions, 1038 yards, 11 TDs. Extrapolate those stats to 16 games and Q’s previous season would look like this: 119 receptions, 1384 yards, 15 TDs. Talk of whether he or Fitzgerald should be the #1 WR off the board this season would be fodder for every magazine and website. Instead, Q is coming in as a value pick in every league. Fitz is more talented, but that only helps Q’s numbers. He’s consistently able to beat the lesser cornerbacks and Warner’s accurate arm found him nearly nine times per game last season. He’s also in a contract year. The only downside is that he’s had a bit of an injury history - he’s missed four or more games three times in his six year career. Reach for Boldin and reap the rewards. Team Bill Belichick’s Video Rentals other picks: MJD

2.12, 24th overall: Tom Brady - Brady has had plenty of time to recover and is ready to once again rain fireballs down on the national football league. He’ll make Moss and Welker huge again this season, and evern throw a few bones towards old men like Joey Galloway and Fred Taylor. Be sure to grab at least a couple of pieces of this offense in your drafts.  Team Favre Dollare Footlong other picks: Adrian Peterson

For the team names I’ll be using some of my favorite fantasy football team names from FantasyTeamNames.net:

1.1. Adrian Peterson - All Day Peterson may not catch a single ball but he is still my pick to finish atop the final RB rankings list.  With Favre in the pocket he may actually face some reasonable front lines.  If he doesn’t break 2000 yards rushing this season he’ll do it soon.  I’m looking forward to jizzing my pants every time he jumps over some anonymous diving linebacker this season. Team Favre Dollare Footlong

1.2. MJD - I might go Turner in non-PPR, but Jones-Drew gets a nice gain from PPR leagues.  Even when Taylor was around, pretty much any time it mattered the team relied heavily on Maurice.  He’s proven he can be the feature back and that he is a beast in the Red Zone.  Fantasy owners will be treated to 2000 total yards and 15 TDs.  Crack open a Miller Jenuine Draft and enjoy the show. Team Bill Belichick’s Video Rentals

1.3. Michael Turner - Burner is another guy who isn’t going to light it up out of the backfield, but he scores more than Michael Jackson at the daycare center.  Atlanta’s offense looks scary-good on paper.  I like him here for great production and limited downside.  Team I Just Witten My Pants

1.4. Matt Forte - Did this guy ever leave the field last season?  The Bears now have a QB that can hit WRs from more than 15 yards away, so Forte’s production out of the backfield may drop off a bit.  That said, he should see more open running lanes and Red Zone opportunities.  He’ll be on the field nearly every play, which is a huge bonus for RBs these days.  Team 2 Inches Flacco, 4 Inches Huard

1.5. Stephen Jackson - SJax is perhaps the most assinine twitterer I have ever followed. Thanks @SJ39 for revealing little about on-field activities but always keeping me updated on what type of granola bar you are craving.  He should be tweeting “I’m going to have the ball in my hand like every play this season,” because that is what is shaking down in St. Louis.  Look for a highly productive and busy season from this super talented RB.  Team Yellow Polka Dot Mangini

1.6. LaDainian Tomlinson - This is the point in the draft where doubt settles in for me - this is the exact spot I don’t want to draft from.  I’d rather get a stud earlier or top WRs later.  If I do get stuck here, I’m going LT.  Don’t think he can’t get 1800 yards and 15 TDs if healthy this season.  Shit happens, and a lot of shit happened to LT last season.  I’m willing to roll the dice on LT for one or two more great seasons.  Team Travis Henry is My Dad

1.7. Brian Westbrook - He’s had more knee and leg problems than Britney Spears’ has had mental breakdowns, but he’s still a workhorse.  Andy Reid is going to run him into the ground, even with McCoy on the roster.  I remember a press conference after an Eagles game a couple of years ago where reporters drilled Reid about not spelling Westbrook, even though the star RB was injury and Reid claimed he would be rested.  Reid simply said “I forgot.”  Westbrook had been questionable all week and many thought he wouldn’t play, but he posted a huge game.  If Westy can hobble onto the field he’ll put up strong PPR numbers.  Team Feely My Breaston

1.8. Frank Gore - Like Jackson, Gore is going to have the ball A LOT.  If the SF QB can help him move the ball instead of hurt the team then this ranking is too low.  If “Carney-Hands” Alex Smith is announced the starter and you’ve already drafted Gore just drop him.  Team Mike Vick Rapes and Murders Animals

1.9. Chris Johnson - If taking old men like LT and Westbrook (both about 30) doesn’t appeal to you then Mr. Johnson should be your pick.  Fisher, Heimerdinger, and anyone else who watched the Divisional Playoffs last year know that there is no Titans offense without Johnson.  They are developing more ways to get him involved, so look for him to take even more carries away from Lendale this season.  He can score at least 10 TDs even without the goal line carries.  Team Romosexual Tendencies

1.10. DeAngelo Williams - Call me crazy, but I don’t think Carolina’s offense is good enough to maintain the torrid pace they had at the end of last season.  Mix in the talented and healthy Jonathan Stewart, who may take half the carries, and you’ve got some real risk here.  The upside is too good to go any lower than this, though.  Team Kyle Orton’s Neck Beard

1.11. Larry Fitzgerald - This is the point where I can’t let Fitz pass me by.  I considered Slaton and Jacobs here but they aren’t the locks that I’m looking for in the first round.  Fitgerald is, imo, the best player in the league.  He nearly willed Arizona to a SuperBowl victory.  The separation he gained on his famous TD catch was a thing of beauty.  Had he tackled James Harrison one yard earlier (after running 100) Zona might have won easily.  100 Catches, 1300 yards, and 13 TDs is a walk in the park for this guy.  Team Locker Room UnderPants Gnomes

1.12. Randy Moss - Brady to Moss is back, and don’t let it pass you by.  Look for 85 catches, 1200 yards, and 13 TDs, but remember that the upside is stinky ridiculous.  Moss is a first-round worthy beast in any scoring format.  Team Mendenhally Retarded